Let's not beat around the bush here. Being a farm wife is not for the faint of heart. But farm wife, I see you.
I see you working at your full time job in town, then coming home to switch your second job, helping on the farm.
Farm chores never end, do they?
So you feed the cattle, or mow the yard. Maybe you drive a tractor or fix fence. Oh yes, we can do it all.
And then, somehow, you still make dinner for the family - and yes, Caseys pizza counts - help with homework and give the kids a bath.
Don't even get me started on the common core math. That's a whole 'nother story, friends.
Farm wife, I see you at a four way stop, pulling the seed tender to deliver to a field. A smile, a wave, and that may be our social interaction for the day.
Soak it in, it may be all we get. But don't worry, the animals talk to us, don't they?
I see you jumping into your SUV at a moments notice to pickup parts for a broken down tractor.
Have you ever noticed that conversation stops when we enter the parts store? It's really quite magical!
No one expects us to know what we're doing or looking for.
And let's be honest, sometimes we don't.
But we still get the job done and return with the parts, don't we?
Farm wife, I see you, sitting in your living room alone on your birthday because your farmer is out planting corn or harvesting crops.
Even an average day can feel lonely when your farmer is working late hours.
Sometimes, being a farm wife can be the toughest job on the planet. We feel isolated, alone, and tired. It's something our non-farming friends will never understand.
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But I see you.
We're in this together.
What we do requires us to be iron clad in the tough times, but flexible enough to adapt on a moments notice.
We try to compare ourselves to others, looking for the "right" way to run our household, our family, our farm.
But the truth is, there is no "right" way.
We get life done every. single. day.
And let's face it - our farmers couldn't do this without us.
Will your farmer ever say that? Probably not.
So instead, I am telling you. You are amazing. You've got this. You are not alone.
Because farm wife, I see you.
Want to connect with other farm wives? Join my private group for meal ideas and camaraderie. There are also some awesome public Facebook farm life communities!
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Tia says
I get where this is coming from. I do. But I also feeling like this is sad and depressing. Defining yourself by your husbands job, assuming that you won’t hear that they can’t do it without you. Where’s the support in that kind of relationship? You can be married to a farmer without feeling sad and isolated and still support each other. It doesn’t have to be that way. It is what you make it.
Deanne Frieders says
Hi Tia, thanks for dropping a comment. I call myself a farm wife as opposed to a farmer's wife (possessive). I wouldn't say I define myself by my husbands job anymore than I'd define myself as a "toddler mom" or the other roles I play.
When harvest hits, we have about 6 weeks of very intense work schedules. For this reason, I feel it's important to connect with other people in the same situation as I am. It is unique. In the offseason is where my husband and I connect. Day dates are a must! 😉
Timothy Nicholas says
Well, my mother was proud to be called a full-time farmer's wife, a housewife, and a homemaker. She wasn't owned by anyone, and, by God, we all respected her role and deeply loved her. When the women libbers were getting fired up back when, Mom thought that was the biggest bunch of horse manure.she had ever heard. And she didn't have to go around pronouncing her womanhood to feel good about herself. My mother carried herself with dignity and SELF-respect, and we observed that and treated her with the greatest love and respect. She did it ALL, sewing, canning, cleaning, raising, hoeing and weeding our gardens, cleaned a huge farmhouse, cooked, washed our clothes, fed horses, cattle, dogs, cats, geese, and chickens, and still made time to design little turtle pancakes for me on Saturday mornings, with nary a complaint. Our table was completely set three times a day with food in dishes sitting on the table. And our farm was in the Appalachian Mountains where the weather was rough in the winters. Mom was as tough as the weather. And one thing I knew: I was cared for, nurtured, and deeply loved.
Susan Bates says
Beautifully written Deanne! How many farms have we driven by in our lives and I always fantasize that there is a pie cooling on the window sill and bread baking in the oven. I will keep my fantasy, all the while praying for the hard working families feeding the world. Bless you and Ryan❣️