These are funny, simply because they are so true. Straight outta the mouths of my readers. Ladies, you make me laugh over and over.
If you’re a farm wife, some of these will 100 percent ring true!!!
Your name is written on most of your dishes.
You see the implement dealer more than your doctor.
You celebrate Easter two weeks early so as to not interfere with planting.
You have beans and corn floating around like others have chap stick and loose change.
You’re on a first name basis with the Emergency Room Staff
You look forward to going to cattle sales so you can have some “us” time
You associate a buddy seat with free childcare
The word auction has you thinking about the food vendors
You were rocking the “farmhouse” decor/lifestyle long before Joanna Gaines!
You have gotten stuck in the muddy barnyard with your boots on and couldn’t move
The 4-H fair is a family event
SAVE THIS FOR LATER
You randomly pull weeds from other people’s landscaping
Picking rocks up from fields is considered a pasttime
A tractor is parked in your yard
You only cook meals that can be ready 30 minutes early or sit for three hours.
The smell of silage makes you tingle all over
Your house has shiplap and it’s not new.
A shiny new tractor means more than a diamond ring
You try to plan children for the “off season”
Someone asked if you were raised in a barn and you take it as a compliment
Everyone thinks you’re a single mom because they’ve never seen you with your husband at school events.
You’re not afraid of hard work.
You know the weather forecast in the surrounding five counties
On your lunch break from your paying job you spend the whole hour running around for parts
You’ve watched a random soybean roll across the floor
Your dryer vent has corn and soybeans in it when you empty it
You raise your own food
Your children only like to wear “work clothes” and waders and/or hip boots to town
You’re given directions to a field by land marks and not any roads numbers.
…And when you reach the hay bales take a left got 47 post down and hang a right you might see us
You’ve worn rubber boots with your pajama pants
More you reasons you know you’re a farm wife…
Your shoe collection has more work boots than high heels.
You don’t know how to make dinner for one.
Your kids had chore boots before they could walk
Manure is discussed at the dinner table
Your husband refers to you giving birth as calving and not in an offensive way
Your kids have driven a tractor to school
Dry shampoo is your staple styling product 😂
You reply to RSVP’s with “it depends what the weather is like”
Your wedding was scheduled during the “off season”.
Date night consists of a ride along in the tractor or combine 😂
Three words: carting hand signals
You found pigs grazing in your garden and shooed them back into the pig lot.
All your winter coats have a company’s name on them, and it’s not a clothing company.
You think something broke underneath your car but upon further inspection it was just corn stalks stuck and hanging underneath.
You’ve ever been out in the barn with your nightgown and muck boots and maybe your Carhart.
Your first date was delivering 250 bales of hay
Your first day of school photos are taken on a tractor tire yearly.
You have corn kernels sprouting in your washer.
A corn dryness tester was on your dining room table so long you made it part of the he fall decor by throwing some mini pumpkins around it.
Your husbands romantic getaway involves a destination to look at machinery or cattle. Pillow talks involves market, chemical and livestock prices.
You always take over the care and feeding of orphan calves…and name them.
When things are fixed with twine around the house!
You know how much rain you got last night down to the tenth.
You wash towels that have dried a newborn lamb in the same washer you wash your own clothes
The idea of white towels makes you laugh. Really laugh.
Your daughter asks for a John Deere Combine themed birthday.
You had a bottle lamb live in the bathroom for a week and were on feeding duties at 2 am
You tour a dairy farm AND implement dealer on your honeymoon
You stop and buy a semi on your way home from taking your daughter to college.
You feed the animals before your kids…
You stop 20ft before the stop sign because you see a semi is turning your way. And you know it’s easier for them to cut into your lane.
You don’t have dinner before 9pm
You know who the “Big O” is on WGN radio, and no, it’s not that kind of O.
Your first anniversary gift was 4 poultry broiler houses.
You can deliver supper to 3 different fields and still be hot at the 3rd when you get to eat!
You stop talking in the middle of a conversation to listen to the weather or grain reports
The county fair week is your family vacation
You’ve had hay in your bra.
Your kids correct the others at preschool when they use the wrong name for play trucks, tractors, and equipment.
You have literally run around to all of the fields because you honestly can’t remember “that one field” !
You can back up any type of trailer or implement like a boss!
You have a fully stocked pantry and fridge because you don’t live near town and you may need to feed a small army of farmers at any given minute.
You answer to commitments with a disclaimer that sounds like: “subject to weather, broken down equipment and other factors”
This was so fun! Do me a favor and share this with friends who will get a laugh out of this!