Surprise, this is a different kind of post; a post about Mother’s Day. Think of it as a recipe for life – no grocery trip or meal plan required! I wrote this the other day and shared it on Facebook. It resonated with people so today, I’m sharing it with you.
I don’t like Mother’s Day.
There. I said it.
Before you decide I’m an awful person, hear me out.
I feel such great pressure to have one “perfect” day and let’s face it – life isn’t perfect. In fact, some days it’s downright ugly. Even on Mother’s Day.
You wouldn’t know it though. There are jewelry ads urging you to show mom you care with diamonds. There are commercials showing a mom peacefully waking up to breakfast in bed surrounded by pressed white sheets and a tray with homemade eggs benedict and a vase with a single rose.
Maybe that’s reality in your world but it sure isn’t in mine.
I spent a few years as a single mom, and each year, my kids wanted to make breakfast in bed. They gave me a list of ingredients and I bought them at the grocery store. The breakfast was always pretty awful. Sorry, but it really was. Have you seen the food combinations kids put together??? They always made yogurt parfait, which makes me gag, but I ate it every single year.
Do you know what my favorite part of the entire day was? It was when I heard them in the kitchen, working together in hushed whispers. The sound of the dining room chair scraping across the tile floor so they could reach the countertops. Those were the moments when my heart felt so full it almost hurt.
But then I logged onto Facebook and saw everyone posting photos of their “perfect” day and felt like somehow, I was missing out.
A few years later I married my husband Ryan. For one of our first Mother’s Day together, he and kids asked what I wanted for Mother’s Day. I made a HUGE mistake. I said I didn’t want a gift. But really, I did. I wanted a present to open on Mother’s Day, but I thought as a mom I was supposed to say I just wanted happy kids. They honored my request and I spent the day with a lump in my throat because I didn’t receive a gift I said I didn’t want.
I felt guilty for wanting a present. And I wasted the day feeling sorry for myself.
The answer isn’t in the Kay Jewelers box, but I’ve decided as moms, we shouldn’t feel guilty if there’s something we want. We work hard, 24-hour days, taking care of other people’s needs.
So if you want a gift, say it, and the more specific the request, the better. Better yet, buy it yourself. If your Mother’s Day wish is to have a few peaceful hours alone, don’t feel bad about that. Take some time to recharge.
I’m going to turn things around this year. I’m going to keep it real and I’m betting I will have the best Mother’s Day ever.
My Mother’s Day will probably start with a 6 am wake up call from a naked 3-year-old demanding Bubble Guppies on the TV. I will gulp a cup of coffee down on the way to church so I have enough caffeine in my system to try to get two squirming tots to be quiet during mass (they won’t). I will feel sweat dripping down the back of my dress while I wrangle them and my makeup will melt.
This year my husband will likely be working in the field because we still have planting to do. I will probably spend the day taking care of the kids and helping where needed. I will probably make myself my Mother’s Day dinner, which might be grilled cheese this year. I’m going to give myself an extra slice of cheddar.
This year, I’m going to make sure to have an imperfect Mother’s Day and it is going to be a smashing success.
So here’s to you mamas…I’m wishing you a Mother’s Day full of sticky fingers and soggy toast, of too weak coffee for breakfast in bed, and of perfectly imperfect moments of loving and feeling loved.
And if you see a happy picture of my family posted on Facebook, know that is one moment of the day we happened to capture in a photo. The remainder of the time, you can rest assured that I will be one hot mess and I will be happier for it. I hope you are, too.
Happy Mother’s Day.
(Photo by Stephanie Hulthen Photography)